When a person starts to serve God and draw
close to a true Tzaddik, he is often filled with negative thoughts and inner
turmoil.
This is like a pot of water which
initially seems quite clear, but as soon as it is placed on the fire and starts
to boil, all the impurities begin to surface. Someone has to stand there constantly
removing the scum and impurities.
At first the water appears perfectly clear, but
as it heats up, more and more impurity surfaces. At last, however, when all
the impurity is removed, the water is truly pure and clear.
The same is true of a person. Before
he starts serving God, good and evil are totally mixed up in him – so much so
that the evil and impurity are not even discernible. But when he starts trying
to serve God and draw close to a true Tzaddik, he begins the process of
cleansing and purification. Each time, more evil and impurities rise to the
surface.
Here too one must stand by constantly
removing the dirt and impurities as they appear, until in the end the person is
truly pure and clear.
Initially a person is totally
immersed in the material. When
he starts to draw closer to God, it might seem as if it should be possible to
remove all this filth and impurity at once. But his mind is so totally
mixed up with this mire that if it were to be removed all at once, he could
lose his mind with it as well.
One must be very patient until little by little
one becomes completely pure.
Sichot Haran #79
This article is originally printed in The
Essential Rabbi Nachman by Azamra Institute.
https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Rabbi-Nachman-Avraham-Greenbaum-ebook/dp/B01IVJEMDM
