Elul is almost here again and it's time to get our house in
order before the High Holidays.
Hashem wants us to be courageous enough to come to Him and
confess, speaking the truth from no matter how low a place we might be. The
heartfelt and truthful confession of a person who did even a terrible sin is
much dearer to Hashem than the perfunctory beating of one's chest. Hashem wants
the truth, not empty displays of piety.
Rebbe Nachman therefore says that the value of
personal prayer exceeds all else, for it's the basis of establishing a true,
lasting and personal relationship with Hashem. How soothing it is to spill your
heart out to Hashem! Our sages therefore say (Tractate Avot, 4:17), "An
hour of teshuva and good deeds in this world is better than the entire World to
Come." With a daily hour of personal prayer, you'll get to know Hashem.
This helps a person cast away the lies, doubts and misconceptions that the evil
inclination tries to plant in his heart and mind. My dear student, Rabbi Yosef Rand, may Hashem
bless him, told me an interesting interpretation of what our sages say
(Tractate Berachot, 9b), "Worry about the problem in its hour,"
in other words, wait to worry. Rabbi Rand told me that our entire
concern with a problem should be "in its hour," the daily hour that
we speak to Hashem in personal prayer.
When a person becomes accustomed to a daily hour of personal
prayer and stops blaming others for his problems, he assumes responsibility for
himself. The words that he speaks to Hashem help him see the truth, to
understand what's happening in his life, and to realize his actual spiritual
rung without fooling himself in all types of fantasies. He seeks to get close
to Hashem from his point of truth. He is candid and sincere.
The Zohar implores a person to take stock of
himself daily before going to sleep at night. As King Solomon says
(Ecclesiastes 9:10), "There is neither doing nor reckoning nor knowledge
nor wisdom in the grave where you are going." In other words, in the next
world, we won't be able to rectify what we can in this world. Our daily
reckoning is therefore an extremely vital part of our lives. Through daily
soul-searching and teshuva, one turns all of his or her setbacks into triumphs.
So let's stop hiding from Hashem.
The Torah commands (Numbers 5:6), "Speak
to the Children of Israel: a man or woman who commits a transgression...they
shall confess their sin that they did." Hashem knows that we'll sin, so He
gives us simple and effective advice as to how to rectify it – by confessing
directly to Him.
The objective of confessing is to enable us to stop hiding,
in other words, to overcome our shame and embarrassment in acknowledging that
we did something wrong. Most important, though, confessing helps us to
internalize the fact that we cannot guard ourselves against sin without the
constant help of Hashem. In our public confessions (Tachnun, after the Amida in
our daily prayers of Shacharit and Mincha), we say, "O G-d and G-d of our
fathers, may our prayers come before You, and don't ignore our supplications,
for we are not so insolent and stiff-necked to tell you that we are righteous
and we haven't sinned, but we and our ancestors have sinned." Our merit in
prayer is that we are not hiding from Hashem and that we are admitting to our
mistakes. By virtue of our candid confession, we can ask for Hashem's complete
forgiveness.
The Zohar teaches an amazing principle: when a
person confesses to Hashem, all the mekatregim, the prosecuting angels,
are silenced. Hashem tells them, "I need not hear slander from you! The
individual has already confessed and begged My forgiveness!" But, when a
person tries to hide from Hashem, the prosecuting angels demand justice, and
very stern judgments arise that filter down and manifest themselves as all
types of difficulties in that person's life. Consequently, one who takes the
initiative and confesses - as soon as possible after wrongdoing, and at least
on a daily basis - is doing himself a magnificent favor.
